My single years, for the most part, were an amazing part of my life. I had moved 1,300 miles away from home to start a new life at Colorado State on my own–new friends, new scenery and new challenges. I had the chance to wipe the slate clean and be the person I had always wanted (whoever that was?)
I was lucky in the fact that I had and still have, such a close-nit, solid group of friends. I can’t even tell you the amount of trouble we caused or dodged by a hair–sometimes it amazes me that no one ended up in jail (does Sundance jail count?)
The parties we attended and often hosted were some of the fondest memories to date. The competitiveness of our beer pong table was fierce. Football tailgates started at 8am, or as soon as the liquor store opened. So many great memories of us all, single and not having a care in the world besides where we were going to get hangover food the next morning.
College was not ALL partying. I was a super nerd when it came down to it–I loved going to class and learning–I took my studies very seriously. I was very involved on campus, between collegiate clubs and my Ag sorority. I was learning more about myself, my leadership style and things I wanted out of my life. What did I want my future to look like after these four years were done? I spent so much time enjoying everything about the college experience that I didn’t have much time for anything else.
As friends started getting boyfriends and slowly starting to settle down…the nagging in my head that I wanted that too, never really went away.
When I was single, it felt like literally everyone had a significant other. Even the freaking squirrels on campus.
Waiting for “the one” was a long and grueling process. There were a LOT of frogs–you know the ones. The “I don’t want a relationship” or “I just want to have fun” type guys. Those that show up to the bar wasted, and then proceed to get black out and hit on anything that moves. Or the ones that text you at 2am, asking you to come over and watch a movie. Yeah sorry but no thanks.
And let’s just not even get started on the online dating culture. I am not saying that it never works out for people…but I was not one of them. That story might be for another post entirely…
Let’s be honest…the dating world nowadays is horrible, terrifying, shallow and filled with ignorant morons. This “hookup” culture is ruining genuine human connection.
By the time I had graduated college, I was basically accepting that I would be single for life. How was I ever going to meet the “good ole boy” I had always dreamed of–one that still had manners, intelligence and respect? One that actually knew how to fix stuff, to change a tire, open the door for you. One that was actually interested in your goals and aspirations.
Two years out of college and into my career, I was still in the “finding me” stage and dating was just…dumb. Again, I was lucky because I lived with my best friends from college, so we were still acting like we were in college. Bars every Friday and Saturday, concerts, football games…life was still good and at least I had a few extra bucks in my pocket for once. For frick sake, I had a 401k, I was adulting like a champ.
I loved being independent–but still wished for someone to sweep me off my feet. I hoped and prayed every night, that he was on his way, my prince in shining armor. Or goof wrapped in tinfoil. Whichever it was, I was open-minded.
I secretly never gave up hope, and I had faith that God had a plan for me. I needed the time on my own to focus on myself, and wow, did I learn a lot. If I would have met my husband back then, I might have blown my chance being too busy with other things, like keg races and chasing around some douchebag in a cowboy hat.
When I finally met Jakob (many of you know the story) I was at the perfect time in my life to open up to someone else. It came very natural and easy, I was never worried or rushed or needed to decipher every text. I didn’t walk on eggshells or try to fit a mold. I was exactly myself–stubborn and intimidating (not on purpose though, I just have resting bitch face), with a little bit of a northern accent.
I knew who I was, what kind of beer I liked and gosh darn it, I was not apologizing for it.
Jakob didn’t seem to find my dream of owning all sorts of livestock and assorted creatures as a joke or turnoff. That was a plus.
Last week, Jakob and I were on our honeymoon in Alaska. We were sitting out on the main deck, staring at a glacier, marveling at the wonders of the world. Jakob had gotten up to get us another round of beers, and I couldn’t help but tear up under my sunglasses.
Here I was, on a cruise ship in the Pacific Ocean in Alaska with my husband. I couldn’t believe how amazing our wedding day turned out, I couldn’t believe how many of our friends and family were there cheering us on.
The moral of this story is that you can never lose faith. Three years ago I would have never dreamed that I would be sitting on a cruise ship in Alaska with a new last name, the luckiest girl in the world.
When you find your prince, every bad date, every night you cried yourself to sleep, every time you thought you weren’t skinny or pretty enough…all of it goes away.
Because guess what? You did your time, you were there for yourself through it all. And now someone is lucky enough to love you for the rest of your life.